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Getting To The What Of Retirement

“SAVE A SEAT ON THE BUS FOR ME !”  

By Cynthia Wallis-Hill

It seems to me that a very important ingredient for a happy and satisfying life at any age is adaptability. How adept we are at shifting our perspective and seeing the positive possibilities will determine whether we live joyously in the abundance and goodness of what is now or not.

I was blessed to have had someone in my life who taught me the beauty and utility of being adaptable. In her late fifties, Helen tragically lost her only son. She grieved deeply and, yet at the same time, her love of life and people grew even bigger. A few years later, her husband retired: this was not a smooth transition for either of them. And again, she found an inner resolve that allowed her to adapt by letting go her reign as domestic goddess. In its stead, she spent more time on activities and people that truly mattered to her.

The last decade of Helen’s life was filled with transitions: the passing of her beloved husband, declining health, loss of vision, giving up her home and friends, moving to assisted living. Through it all, her resolve to adapt and live joyously never wavered, in fact it flourished. She filled the days of her life doing what she loved: talking and being with her family and friends, learning, swimming, socializing, making new friends, volunteering. No longer able to drive, the outings provided by her residential community were very dear to her.

During the last few of years of her life, Helen’s declining health and loss of vision slowed her down. Taking care of personal needs and responsibilities took more time and more effort. I never heard her complain, ever. Somehow she knew the secret to sustaining joy was being able to bend with the storms of life. Sometimes she was bedridden. It was during those times she was known to say to her friends, “save a seat on the bus for me!” Always optimistic, she allowed herself to be nourished and sustained by what was real and what was possible. Helen was a delight. By example she taught me so many lessons about living.

May you always have a seat of delight in your life, no matter your circumstances or your age. And, like Helen, may you master the art of adaptability.

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